blog
May this be the best chapter of your story yet. I hope you find just the right characters. I hope you find your friends that are your soulmates, your mentors, and your family all in one. I hope these are the friends that are willing to walk with you every step of the way without ever letting go. Just remember, don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. I hope you truly learn that unless you try, you will always fail. I hope you learn that you are worth so much. I hope you learn to walk your own path- your path is different from everyone else’s. I hope you learn to live life to the fullest, fulfilling your passions every step of the way. I hope you are proud of yourself. I hope you learn that you have a choice. I hope you know that you, and you only, are capable of changing your life.
I hope this is the year that teaches you to fall in love with the person staring back at you in the mirror. I hope you discover your strength to understand you don’t need a man to make you feel loved.
I hope you realize that even in the coldest of moments, you can choose to show the world your warmth. May your faith shine above all the hardships. May you learn to love and choose yourself, always. May you discover your identity. Your soul. Your happiness.
Entitled
You're
to this.
Entitled
You're
to this.
older thoughts...
My Obsession
With Bollywood
I’m not saying that in order to be Indian we need to live life exactly how Bollywood portrays it. We certainly don’t suddenly go singing in the mountains of Switzerland when we fall in love with someone, just like Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol did in DDLJ; we certainly don’t get together with family and break out into synchronized dancing and singing at any given function- something you might see in Kuch Kuch Hota Hain or Hum Saath Saath Hain. We do, however, learn the importance of family. We learn to respect our parents, our brothers, our sisters, our grandparents, our teachers, our significant others.. the list goes on and on.
Each song that I’ve listened to has helped me truly understand my two different identities- an American identity and an Indian identity. It has taught me to appreciate being Indian. And of course, it gives me an excuse to dream big, especially when it comes to romance (all thanks to King Khan himself) and to believe that sometimes it’s acceptable to suddenly break out singing and dancing to any occasion, whether it’s happy or sad.
If you ask me what my favorite song is, I’ll say “Itni Si Baat Hai” from Azhaar. But once upon a time, I was too embarrassed to admit this. Every time someone asked me, I’d maybe say “Single Ladies” or “DJ Got Us Fallin in Love” or whatever the most popular song at that time was.
But nothing could beat those iconic Hindi lyrics. (Sorry boys, the bar has been set extremely high when it comes to expectations about romance). Every day after school, I looked forward to sitting myself down in front of the television, watching Shah Rukh on screen all day, with his outstretched arms singing “Tujhe Dekha Toh” or “Chaiyya Chaiyya” or even “Suraj Hua Maddham,” sending chills down my body.
Bollywood isn’t just a small piece of Indian culture. It’s one of the most significant facets of my identity and it’s one of the biggest ways I connect with the Indian culture. It’s how I learned to be Indian and okay with who I am. Bollywood has taught us girls to be confident with the way we look. Take Kajol’s Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge as an example. Her confidence in her unibrow and in her appearance is something all Indian girls must admire. Bollywood, whether it’s the songs or the films, is something where inspiration could be drawn from and where I could laugh, dream the unthinkable, and even escape reality.
Unexpected Departure
I still remember the moment when you hung up the phone and said you would call back tomorrow because you were putting dinner on the table. You said you were distracted and wanted to be able to give me your full undivided attention even though I had just called to wish you “Happy Mother’s Day.” You never did call back. I never did hear your voice again.
It’s been a year and a half, and it doesn’t get any easier, at least not for me. I can still remember your voice, your smell, your touch and sometimes I wake up and find it difficult to swallow the fact that you’re really gone. This is Nanu’s first trip to the U.S. alone, and even that is hard for me to comprehend. Sometimes I just think you’ll walk into the room and everything will be OK. I would do anything to be able to get that to happen. If only there was a way that I could…
I hope I don’t upset you when I get very low thinking about how much I miss you. I know only you know that sometimes I cry at night when I’m alone because I miss you. I know that only you know that there are plenty of mornings where I wake up irritable because I’ve spent the whole night crying and wishing things were different. Sometimes I get mad that you didn’t wait at least for another month: I was crossing the seven seas to come and see you after three long years. This will forever remain the biggest regret of my life. That I put studying for SATs over sparing even just a week to come and see you. What would those two weeks have done? Did they really help my score out that much? I guess that’s a question that will always remain unanswered and always remind me of my biggest regret.
So today, I will take a minute to thank you, Nani (I know you’re listening even though you’re in heaven). Thank you for the countless sacrifices you made as a mother and as a grandmother.
Thank you for being so interested in all the middle school and high school gossip. Thank you for taking me shopping to buy churis and lehengas. Thank you for having grandma-granddaughter days where you and I would just go out, roaming the streets of Delhi and riding in auto rickshaws. Thank you always feeding us everything with your own two hands. Thank you for showering me with unconditional love. Thank you for always encouraging me to do my best, and thank you for always being by my side, whether it was in person or it is in spirit.
Regardless of whatever may happen in my lifetime, I promise you that I will fight each obstacle that comes my way without ever giving up. I will live life for myself and for no one else. I shall not be dependent on anyone. And I will live every day as if there’s no tomorrow. I will live life just the way you had hoped. I wish that one day I can be half the person you were. People like you aren’t written down in history books; you aren’t considered a national hero. But in the eyes of your grandchildren, you are and always will be.
listen up.
Don’t let anyone define you.
You be you.
Do what you once believed to be the unthinkable.
Be the person you were told you could never be.
Prove the people who didn’t believe in you wrong.
That boy doesn’t look at you?
Give him a reason to notice you but don’t you dare to ever look back.
Don’t ever let a man define you.
yes, you.
Be considerate to your passions. Pursue them.
Show love for the people who care about you. You’re lucky they’re there.
Learn to avoid the superficial.
Look good for yourself and for no one else.
Be proud of your accomplishments.
Learn to live life to the fullest.
Differentiate the good people from the bad.
Walk through the fire unscathed.
Discover your identity.
Understand your soul.
Honey,
This One's For You
It’s been a rough week, I know. Sometimes it just feels like the clouds don’t seem to leave the sky, and the flowers just never seem to bloom. But honey, don’t forget, you’re doing amazing. It’s okay to fail and get up, try again, and maybe fail again. The problem is when you fail and stay down. Nothing is as beautiful as the desire to succeed, be it professionally in your career or personally in love.
Just remember, you’re going to make so many friends, fall in love maybe once maybe three times, and do so many remarkable things. One bad day isn’t the end of it all. Chest out, chin up. Keep walking ahead. Quite often, you won’t have all the answers, but you’ve got to just breathe. Appreciate where you are in the journey. Sometimes it isn’t where you want to be, but, I promise, every experience serves its purpose.
Don’t forget what you’re fighting for. It makes it easier to never give up.
Sometimes you want to do what makes you happy but you feel you’re too weak to do something you know everyone around you doesn’t agree with. But you just gotta take that leap. If people still want to be a part of your life despite the decision, then you know who’s true to you and who isn’t.
Take it day by day. Don’t stress so much about tomorrow. Live today. Love today. Smile today. Do what will make you happy today. Don’t live in fear of the consequences. You’re strong enough to face anything and everything. You just have to realize that you have what it takes.
